CDCAN SPECIAL REPORT: Ben Omoto passed away (Marty's father)

SPECIAL NOTE REGARDING BEN OMOTO (MARTY OMOTO'S DAD)

My dad, Ben S. Omoto, passed away unexpectedly last night (Sunday August 21) at his home in Monterey. There was no warning and so we are stunned by his death. I was not going to mention anything publicly about this but I realized there will likely be gaps in some CDCAN Reporting over the next few days or weeks as my family deals with his passing and the next steps that follow.  I am not really able to talk to anyone right now.

He was pretty prominent in the Monterey area community in youth sports and he touched thousands of people's lives over the many years because of his work - especially young kids in baseball .  You don't have to be an advocate on budget, legislative or regulatory issues to make a profound positive difference.

He also, along with my mom, made a difference in my life as an advocate in their roles as parents of a child with disabilities - before the Lanterman Act, before the Unruh Civil Rights Act, before the Rehabilitation Act, before the Americans with Disabilities Act, before the Olmstead Decision.

My mom died in 1979 but my parents taught me by example how to treat other people with simple dignity and respect without regard to race, religion or disability or mental health need.  They did that without formal training or knowledge of the politics that drive those issues past abstraction  - they did it instinctively, with reality, making some mistakes along the way, but always being true to that simple value of being kind and treating people decently. So many good parents then - and now - do that. They are true heroes - all of them.

My dad and mom raised my older sister Alana  - who had developmental and physical disabilities -  in that way -  always a part of the family at a time when that wasn't necessarily a given during those times in the 1950's, 1960's and 70's.  It was done in a natural and expected way that taught me so much - even though at the time I didn't appreciate that completely until much later.

My two sisters died before him - and that was almost too heavy for him to bear. He wept on my shoulder saying he didn't think he could make it.  He did that when my mom died.  Death brings out despair - but also strength - though not. at the same time to everyone at the same moment.  That is the reason why people need each other.

I got pretty close to him over the years especially after my sisters passed away - I realized how much he needed me.  But I don't know if he really knew how much I needed him after they died.  I did - I desperately did.

He was there for my family.  He was the primary figure in raising my younger sister's then 12 year old son (her other children were young adults).  He was there for him every day and every moment including his graduation from high school this past June.  He lived long enough to see that happen.  It was like he waited until that happened. Just weeks later, he dies.

And now I am planning another funeral - with my brothers, as I did for mom, for my sister Alana and for my sister Sheri. Oddly enough, my work as an advocate in organizing events and protests for people with disabilities, mental health needs and seniors make it easy for me to do that almost on auto-pilot.  That helps when your mind and body are numb anyways.

I suppose at age 82 years old one can believe that God has been kind in rewarding him - and us his family and friends - with the length of years.  There was a lot of pain and sadness during those times. A lot of happiness and hope too.   But right now, I don't see or feel any comfort knowing that he lived to be in his 80's.  I wanted him to be with us - with me - a lot longer.  I know he came to need me - and my other family members.  But I still needed him.

I didn't mean to write a long thing about my dad. This is not meant to be a self-pity thing.  I just know when I don't write reports after a certain period of time or don't show up to a hearing, some people - in a kind way - get worried or concerned.

I'm okay.  I will get through this as my family will too - as so many others have done so when they lost loved ones. So many people I know have lost loved ones. It is hard on anyone.  With prayers and in the comfort that God always gives,  people get through it. Or most do. So this is for all of them too.

But right now I miss him so very much and I feel a little lost.  That last feeling will pass with time -  I know that from experience  time and again. But I also know that for the rest of my time here,  I will always, always, always miss him.

Please take care

Marty Omoto